I have been carrying this bitter memory since 2016.
I love to work. I love working hard. My most important values are honesty, and loyalty.
I have never left a serving job without being referred to as a one of the strongest servers and welcome to return whenever I would like.
My family raised me to be painfully honest, almost to a fault. I have the guiltiest conscious possible.
Loyalty, I have been in a relationship for over seven years. We have been through everything and still are very much in love.
I feel this is important for you to know so you can understand how deeply this effected me.
I worked at canoe and paddle for about two years. I’ve been subjected to harassment by customers since I started serving at 14, I’m quick with my words and don’t care about not getting the tip if I feel uncomfortable. I always think of the women that get assaulted because they were too nice and I knew that would never be me.
He was my friend, I trusted him, I had been to his house. Consoled him after a break up.
It didn’t start right away, I get along with men in a friend setting very well and that is how I saw him. He met my partner many times and was aware we were very serious about each other. I remember being touched when there was no need, I remember feeling dirty and guilty when he whispered in my ear that I “looked so fucking hot in that dress” when I had a wardrobe malfunction with a dress that ended up being shorter than I realized. I remember my friends father sitting at the bar, I was chatting with him, pouring a beer and Jake reaching around me and putting his body against mine and feeling horrified, and embarrassed that my friends dad saw that. Did he think I was cheating on my boyfriend with him? Why did he do that?
All this lead to a staff party. The only staff party I attended without my partner was the night I was taken advantage of. I was trying to be aware of how much I was drinking without my partner but I have a tendency to over do it. I went to the bar and asked Jake (bartending) for a water, he said no I had to do a shot first. I said no I’m pretty drunk already, he said come on I’ll do one with you. I didn’t want to but I felt like I had a lot of friends there and a place to sleep that was walking distance. We did the shot and then another. Jake was shooting water I was later told.
I woke up in the morning at my friends on the couch and I was pretty happy with myself. You made it here you have your phone, everything is okay.
I went back to the restaurant to decompress with people that attended the party. I remember hearing that someone cheated on their partner and judging them.
Months past, I was hanging out with a friend that had been Jake’s current fixation. She told me that Jake had told her we kissed the night of the party. I was sick to my stomach, I betrayed my partner. What did I do.
I called Jake and asked if this was true, he said yes that I actually kissed him. I was devastated. I was not attracted to Jake, never saw what the girls saw in him. Why would I do that. He said I thought I knew when I came to the restaurant the next day and said I don’t remember getting to my friends last night. He said I gave him a look that seemed like I all at once acknowledged it and that we would keep it a secret. I was crying when I told my boyfriend. Friends said don’t tell him it was so long ago and just a kiss, it’s not that big of a deal. My conscious wouldn’t allow it. When he asked me is that all that happen I said yes. I immediately realized I didn’t know the answer to that question. My mind went to the couch, was it on the couch? Was it on the porch? Why was he with me.
I later learned I was having a hard time walking so Jake offered to walk my home.
My friend recently said he “shoved his tongue down your throat” I wanted to correct her and say no it was just a kiss, and as I typed the message I broke down because I didn’t know. I don’t know what happened to me. I always pictured it as a peck and I was traumatized.
I continued to work there and my attitude to Jake completely changed, I was rude to him, started talking to other women about my experience and theirs. The unexpectedly there was a customer complaint about me. That I had given out free drinks. I didn’t understand. Like you think I have been giving friends free drinks? No people I didn’t know, ok sorry must have been an accident. No they told you. But I wouldn’t do that even if I was slammed? Why would I do that? My goal is to add drinks to the bill so my tip is higher that doesn’t make sense. He had me sign something I’ll always regret not sure what I said. I’m sure he will post it. My father was very upset. We are workers, we are honest and we will not have an accusation like this made about our family in the community I went to high school with as well as my siblings. We asked who said I did this, they said a restaurant owner in Norwood. My father went to every business in Norwood to find out if it was them. All we found was people saying take that to the labour board. When it came time to call the labour board I said I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t tell my dad what had happened to me at the staff party. I didn’t know what he would do. I’ve never told my parents to this day.
If you have made it this far thank you for listening to my story.
Maybe I will send this to my dad.